Rain, Rain Go Away

Again it is Friday and again water is falling from the sky. At this point, this repetitive raining is more laughable than anything else. Today though, is a good day. Today holds promise for some real excitement. In about two hours I'm heading to the airport and flying home. This is the first of a few trips I will be making between now and Christmas. Centreville tonight, Arlington Tomorrow and then back to Athens Sunday. Next weekend it'll be a drive to Raliegh to visit my sister and see my best friend who is coming back from Africa and then home for a whole week. I am excited for the chance to get back and be able to work and play in DC.

On a more serious note, I had a great discussion with a friend on the grace of God and our constant struggle for perfection. Check out this video:

Now Matthew 5:48 says "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."
I have two natures, my sinful nature aka the flesh and my new spirit nature given to my through the Holy Spirit and belief in Christ and in what he did. If the Holy Spirit lives within me it is making my sinful nature a slave to God's Law. However, as a creature with free will I have the choice to step into that nature or into my new nature, my spiritual nature when a decision is to be made. If the word gives us the instruction to be perfect as the father is perfect, then it is clear that we have a choice to sin or not. For every sin committed, knowingly or unknowingly we commit it with choice through out actions and thoughts. But if God knows that we cannot actually attain this then why would it continue to be a command?

I know he sent Jesus, so that he would cover up our imperfection and allow us to be saved in spite of our constantly choosing to do the wrong thing because it was easier..or even just what we wanted to do. I also understand that a lot of Christians use God's grace as an excuse to do what they want and say "well, I guess I'll have some repenting to do tomorrow" That in itself is a terribly flawed way of thinking, but even some of the most devout are guilty of it. Some of us fall into self-righteousness and look down on others as if we have the world, it's paradox and God all figured out and are somehow better than our brother; they claim humility and don't even realize they've lost it before they even had it. There are also more than enough of us who walk around self-defeated and feeling oppressed and depressed. So, this brings me to beg the question wouldn't this naturally set one up to believe they will never be close to perfect, yet because God says so should still try to reach perfection pre-accepting their failure? And won't this lead to constant repenting and a feeling of guilt? And then we should just believe that somehow in the end it'll just work out through Christ? Even if I believe it will it feels like a piece of this puzzle missing. There is something in the scope of things I can not see.

This can feel very defeating and it is easy to feel disappointed in yourself. You feel like you are someone who constantly is choosing to sin, constantly messing up, constantly repenting for things you did on purpose, and end up feeling pretty useless. You throw your hands up in the air and say "God, is this what you want from me? If it isn't please fix me!"


And for some we may receive that peace in their spirit that says "You're my child I love you, don't beat yourself up." But others, like myself receive quiet. No clear response. Do my prayers fall on deaf ears or is he working this out in my heart? Am I just being impatient? I know that in our society we have a instant gratification addiction and do not know what true patience is. We can't even sit in a line at Walmart for more then one minute without starting to huff and moan about what a terrible inconvenience it is. So, I am not perfect, but my father in heaven is. God never changes, he is just, and he knows what is ultimately the best thing to work out your salvation. If he is good then surely all of this stumbling around in what seems to be the dark is leading somewhere meaningful. Right?
Anyways....I'm off! Time to go home - FINALLY :)